A Quick Update on Recent Events

Okay, so I went do to JAX for a couple weeks back in November to get ready for the boat. In addition to bouncing, we each did a formation flight, which was a lot of fun. I always feel like you never get a great feel for an airplane until you've flown it close to another. Aside from being pretty cool, the experience gives you a much better appreciation for the power lever and control movements required to effect very small changes in speed and attitude in relation to the other aircraft. This understanding translates to every other part of flying that one does, especially landing.

That being said I was pronounced ready to go to the boat after doing well over a hundred practice landings at the Whitehouse outlying field. So I went to the boat. We flew out there in the back of a COD and after about an hour in the back of the C-2 in all it's 1950s-designed glory we trapped aboard the Bush. We were out in the Gulf Stream, the winds were up and so shifty the boat was going as slow as possible, turning all the time, and still couldn't keep up with the conditions. There was no moon and a cloud layer at about 6000. The air over the turquoise gulf stream was so cold that the hot north-flowing Caribbean waters we were in was actually steaming.

So I went out there and I got my 26 traps. We taxiied into position behind the shuttle each time and the boat launched us into the cloudy daylit sky or the dark abyss of night like a giant boot-kicking a 50,000lb toy. During the day the winds whipping the ocean and messing my plane fought to get the best of me, but I did okay and got my Day Qual.

Night was a different story, coming off the cat each time with my instructor announcing that all catapult end-speed parameters were met by calling over the ICS, "GOOD SHOT, Fuckin' Navy!" I could have been in outer-fucking-space. I'm not going to over-dramatize and say that I was scared or that my knees were shaking, the fact is I wasn't and they weren't. It was instrument flying, albeit extremely disorienting instrument flying, but my instruments worked, so it was doable. Okay, well, coming off my first couple launches, the G-forces of the cat threw the fluid in my ears so far back and out-of-whack that they finally came to rest while I was in a turn, which, when I rolled out completely screwed with my ability to sense where I was in space. It was the worst case of "Spatial Disorientation" I've ever had, I actually wrote about the training we received on this in of the first entries in this journal, while I was in Pensacola, I think it was my first reference to the "Spin and Puke."

Anywho, I thought I was in a hard right turn while I was actually straight and level, I had to stare at the attitude gyro to keep myself from instinctively turning the plane left to "level out." I couldn't look out side because there was literally no horizon, the ocean and the sky were exactly the same color, black. I could see the ship as we went past it on the downwind leg. It was lit up, looking like a space-station floating there in the nothingness below. I think gravity, my instruments and common sense were the only ways I could tell that it was below me and not vice-versa.

Well I lined up behind the boat, did my checks got my plane configured and did my thing. Everything went reasonably well except I had to fight for lineup, and I wasn't scanning very quickly, which led me to over and under-correct a few deviations on pretty much every pass. These errors started to build up and I started to get frustrated. It was easily the hardest flying I have ever done and I did not want it to get the best of me. I kept fighting, but I wasn't recognizing my mistakes and although my instructor wanted to help me, I couldn't understand what he was saying or how to fix what he was telling me.

In the end, they let me get all my passes, but my grade point average wasn't high enough to get my qual. It was definitely a low-point and I was pretty bummed about it, but I have one more shot in a couple weeks. I'm going to re-attempt my quals on the USS Harry S. Truman at the end of the month. Our "hook-down" day is January 29th. I'm continuing to bounce and if tomorrow goes well, I'll have completed my NATOPS (Naval Aviation Training and Operating Procedures Standardization) check and be a fully (minus Carrier) qualified E-2C pilot.

The continued training has been going well, I wasn't the only one not to qual, so I haven't been completely on my own, although it is kind of a bummer to see all my friends out in their "fleet" squadrons or actually on deployment already. Then again, they are working all day every day, well so am I, but I'm flying and they are now leading divisions of sailors, writing memos, briefs, schedules and other administrative duties which, at the age of 26, I'm pretty happy to have largely avoided up until this point.

In other news, Christmas break was great, I traveled more than Santa Claus. I went up to Vermont for 3 days and finally got back on the ski-slopes. I can't wait to get back there as soon as possible! The next trip was down to Atlanta where in addition to spending Christmas with my step-dad's family, which was a lot of fun, they are really great people, I was able to see a few friends in the meantime. Getting back to Connecticut where my car was parked was more of a challenge with the snow we had. The plane had to actually wave-off in-close to Philadelphia (the closest I could get) and divert to Baltimore where we drove back up. I had been planning to do more traveling, but with the new plan of going to the boat in January, I had to cut my vacation short and return to VA Beach to move out of my roommate's place so that her husband would have space when he moved in at the end of the month.

It definitely hasn't been the least stressful time for, so I'm pretty thankful for this 3-day weekend. Although I still have a lot to do today, it's been great to relax and recharge. I did pretty much absolutely nothing yesterday and it was everything I hoped it could be. Today after I work out, I'll be finally buying some groceries, hopefully get my Christmas Thank-you notes finally done and hit the books for the rest of the day.

Well, if I can get through tomorrow, I've got a pretty good chance with everything else, but I've got to be honest, it's been made pretty clear to me that there is no more room for error. I've been told in no uncertain terms that if I fail another event (the carrier dis-qual counts as a fail or "down") there is not a lot they can do for me. However I am a pilot and no matter what, I do love what I do so that is a bridge I do not intend to cross and as Gene Kranz said to the Apollo 13 ground crew, "failure, is not an option."